Album Review: Simple Plan – Taking One For The Team

By Jonathan Fuchs, Copy Editor

[Atlantic; 2016]

Rating: 1/5

Key Tracks: “Farewell”

Okay, let’s be real, no one asked for this. I didn’t want to do this review, I only did it because SOMEONE took the review for Animal Collective’s new album (still hate you for that, Meg). It amazes me that I was able to sit down and actually listen to this embarrassment of an album. Any “pop-punk” record that has Nelly featured on a song is guaranteed to suck. Does anyone other than people whose Facebook employment section says “Fry Cook at The Krusty Krab” still care about Simple Plan? There are so many 2000s pop-punk bands people would love to hear new albums from: blink-182 , Jimmy Eat World, and Chunk! No Captain Chunk, to name a few – Simple Plan was supposed to be one of those bands that faded into the void of obscurity forever ago, only to be seen again by ironic plays from your awful local radio station. So instead of formally reviewing this completely unnecessary and over-processed album, I give you this:

A List of Things I’d Rather Experience Than Taking One For The Team:

Death is inevitable and it’s crawling slowly, torturing us little by little. Hurry up. Put us out of the misery we call life. What are you waiting for?

(Editor’s Note: Please note, this review is satirical.)

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