“Anyway. . .Here’s Wonderwall”
By: Claire Klodell, Copy Editor
College parties can be intimidating, especially when you’re in an unfamiliar home surrounded by people who aren’t your friends. I can speak for myself and girls everywhere when I say we seek solace in the boys who appear out of thin air, suffocated by smoke, acoustic guitar in open arms. Three words, say it and I’m yours: “Anyway, here’s Wonderwall.”
When these words come out of a tall, lanky, white boy’s mouth, I’m all ready to meet his family. I’ve been waiting for this moment; my bags have been packed for months in my dorm room. My wedding dress? Overrated. Who needs those in this economy?
Whenever your teenage angst overwhelms you to the point of no return, keep in mind that somewhere, somehow, Noel Gallagher was pissed off about it first. In 2015, Rolling Stone published an article titled “Looking Back In Anger: 101 Things Noel Gallagher Has Been Mad At.” Some of these include One Direction, Brian Wilson, his own guitar skills, anyone who’s had anything to do with a book, erotic fiction, Radiohead, and most importantly. . .his brother Liam.
In one interview, Noel claimed he enjoyed listening to Alt-J’s track, “Left Hand Free”. This was too strong of an endorsement for the world’s greatest musician, so he immediately had to clear things up. “Do you know that track by Alt-J, ‘Left Hand Free’? That is a great track. But Alt-J can fuck right off as far as I’m concerned. It’s a great tune, and I paid 79 pence for it, but I am in no way a fan of Alt-J…. One of them’s got a mustache, and that’s unacceptable.”
Like the news, everyday Noel Gallagher is pressed. Even though Oasis broke it off in 2009, following years of threats on both sides, it still continues to this day. “I’d rather eat my own shit than be in a band with him again,” Noel Gallagher said about his brother in 2011.
The fights between the two brothers have more sentimental value than any of their lyrics. Liam chose to use Twitter, back in the day where 140 characters were the maximum, to pop off in the most poetic way possible. He tweeted a picture of Noel twice with the caption “POTATO” and “FUCK OASIS”. A lyrical masterpiece.
This story might have a happy ending for the boy at a house party with an acoustic guitar and a bumble account. Huffington Post recently had an interview with Liam Gallagher and asked what it would take for Oasis to get back together. “We need to like each other first,” Liam said, explaining, “I never did Oasis for money. Me and him [Noel] have got to be on speaking terms. We’ve got to get back to liking each other and once that happens I guess the next step would be to get the band back together. But that is way, way, way off. Because we’re not speaking to each other. We don’t like each other. We’re totally different people.”
Until then, keep playing “Wonderwall” until your fingers (and ears) bleed and hope for the best.