By Maria Lubanovic, Copy Editor, and Ceara Kelly, Contributor

We covered the Oscars. Here’s our take on what happened, and a recap of the night. Literally, every award is on here. 

“Why is Ryan Seacrest even here? Get him TF off the red carpet!” –Ceara

While watching the red carpet, we freaked out about how good Gina Rodriguez looked and how the Black Panther cast looked unbelievable. So proud. For the most part, everybody looked fine as hell. Also, Rita Moreno wore a dress she wore in 1962 when she won her Oscar for West Side Story. What a legend.

“Let’s just roast everyone who showed up tonight.” –An Oscar producer, probably.

It’s a historic year. The Oscars and the academy have been doing this for 90 years. Jimmy Kimmel’s opening monologues referenced the #MeToo movement, diversity in media and the fact it took 90 years to have a woman nominated for cinematography. At this point, Ceara got mad about Mark Wahlberg and threw a goldfish cracker at the TV. Kimmel also offered a jet ski to the person with the shortest speech, Helen Mirren not included.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Sam Rockwell wins best-supporting actor for his role in Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing Missouri.

BEST HAIR AND MAKEUP: Gal Gadot presents the award for Best Hair and Makeup. Nothing else matters. The Oscar goes to Darkest Hour for their prosthetics that turned Gary Oldman into Winston Churchill.

BEST COSTUME DESIGN: Phantom Thread wins this one. Of course it does! The whole point of the movie is FASHUN baby!

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE: It goes to Icarus, a film about doping in Russia. All of the nominees are great pieces of journalism, so please, go watch them. Many of them were on Netflix.

Taraji P Henson introduced Mary J Blige, who sang a moving performance of “Mighty River”. A whole choir came to back her up.

“SELENA!!!!!!” –Maria and Ceara when she showed up in the Oscar movie montage

 BEST SOUND EDITING: Goes to Dunkirk. It’s basically because Dunkirk is apparently only allowed to be seen in theaters. Ceara throws something again. Also, it’s kinda harsh that Ansel Elgort had to announce that the movie he was in lost.

ACHIEVEMENT IN SOUND MIXING: Dunkirk again. Yeah. Repeat the Ansel Elgort thing too.

“Ooooohhh pretty!” – Ceara about Lupita Nyong’o

ACHIEVEMENT IN PRODUCTION DESIGN: The Shape of Water won this one. That movie was a masterpiece and was super successful at creating its own world. It’s well deserved.

“Oh no, I’m gonna cry. I’m here on this earth to cry about ‘Coco’.” –Maria

“Remember Me” was performed by three people from the original soundtrack. The whole setup was beautiful. The singers could have been a little better, but the dancers, the costumes and the set that looked just like the movie made up for it. It was glorious. I didn’t cry. This time.

Jimmy Kimmel brought up the jet ski again. It was one of the costume designers who clocked in at 36 seconds. Nice.

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM: Rita Moreno fabulously shows up and announces that A Fantastic Woman wins best foreign language film. It’s from Chile.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Allison Janney wins this one. Ceara is thrilled about this. She wanted I, Tonya to win literally anything.

“BB-8 IS GONNA PRESENT SOMETHING? AHHHHHHHHH!” –Maria

BEST ANIMATED SHORT: Dear Basketball. Which means Kobe Bryant has an Oscar now. That’s wild.

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM: COCO WINS! VIVA LA MEXICO! Now I’m not so mad that Lego Batman got snubbed. Ceara is now almost crying at this point.

Sufjan Stevens performs a song from Call Me By Your Name. It’s really quick, but what is a little more important is that trans woman Dani Vega introduced them. She’s the first trans woman to present an award at the Oscars.

ACHIEVEMENT IN VISUAL EFFECTS: Blade Runner 2049. Okay, this was super beautiful.

BEST FILM EDITING: Dunkirk. Again

DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT: Heaven is a Traffic Jam on the 405

BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM: The Silent Child. One of the directors signed her speech in British sign language. The movie was funded by Indiegogo.

Common did a performance of “Stand Up for Something” from Marshall. It was really well done. Famous people cried.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: Goes to Call Me by Your Name. Of course it does. It was a really good adaptation.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Get Out! Congrats! This movie was so good. Find a way to see it if you can.

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: Blade Runner 2049

The last musical performance of the night is “This Is Me” from The Greatest Showman. For opinions about this movie, call me. I will rant. But this performance was kind of off. Sorry.

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE: The Shape of Water, a film that seriously benefited from it’s beautiful and creative score.

BEST ORIGINAL SONG: “Remember Me” from Coco, a track that makes me cry every time I hear it. We’re glad this one won. We were about to riot.

We were not ready for the In Memoriam. Hell, we’ll never be ready. But it wasn’t as awful as last year. RIP Carrie Fisher.

Time for the big final four.

BEST DIRECTOR: Guillermo Del Toro for The Shape of Water. Congrats, you deserve it. Also, his speech was very well done, so props to Del Toro for that.

Hellen Mirren and Jane Fonda are here to kill this Oscar presentation. They are beautiful and amazing.

BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE: Gary Oldman for his performance as Winston Churchill in Darkest Hour. He did not win the jet ski.

BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE: Frances McDormand for her performance in Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing Missouri. Ceara guessed this one correctly. She was sad because she felt like Margot Robbie was robbed.

Here we go. The moment that everyone is waiting for. Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway get another shot to correctly announce the right movie. Best Picture goes to…

The Shape of Water!

So, who won the jet ski?