By Grace Koennecke, Managing Editor

As someone who is always telling their friends, “I could write a thesis about this album,” I think it’s finally time I tested my writing abilities to express the love I have for several albums that have quite literally changed my life. Some may say this could act as a love letter of sorts, as there are artists I have listened to for years that are not only my musical heroes, but sources of inspiration and hope. 

So, my first love letter is going to be about my favorite album and one of my favorite bands of all time, Paramore’s After Laughter. Released shortly after the band’s public lawsuit with former bassist Jeremy Davis and President Donald Trump’s first presidential inauguration, this 2017 album saw a drastic change in tone from Paramore’s previous self-titled record, which was critically acclaimed and even won a Grammy Award. Instead of the chaotic grunge and emo-infused pop songs the band grew a following with, After Laughter was a reflection of the artists that made Paramore who they are now, citing artists like the Talking Heads and Blondie as reference points. 

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However, this album in Paramore’s discography is significant because it is arguably the first time lead singer Hayley Williams fully expressed her struggles with depression, which fans saw hints of in their self-titled record on songs like “Last Hope” and “Daydreaming.” For a time period that was slowly becoming more aware of the drastic toll touring, performing and creating music was having on musicians, this album was one I found solace in for its openness and expression of all thoughts, light and dark. 

Similar to Williams’ mental health struggles, I also found this period in my life overwhelming and dark. I was adjusting to my first year of high school, joining new sports and trying to find my place. While this may not sound like the worst of developments, it took a toll mentally over time and I began to experience a disassociation with myself and others that was unhealthy. I had hit a point where being a good student, friend, sister and daughter just didn’t feel good enough for me, and I realized my struggles with anxiety had hit a new low. Luckily, I discovered this album at the right time, and knowing someone as successful as Williams was also struggling – as cheesy as it sounds – made me feel less alone and feel seen as a fan of the band.

While this album did not receive the same critical acclaim as their past records – and it definitely should’ve – the community Paramore built with After Laughter only strengthened their massive fan base. I can remember joining groups online that discussed the album in detail, organized local fan events and even created merchandise inspired by the album. I think that was my first sign that this album was their most important, as it reached so many people throughout its near two-year long album rollout.

I also think this album is Paramore’s most important because of its range and depth. There are songs that simply make you cry on first listen with no warning. The last track on the record, “Tell Me How,” is one that beautifully described the band’s struggles with Davis, but also alluded to Williams’ marital struggles at the time with her ex-husband, and its lyrics are some of the most poignant. “Tell me how to feel about you now / Oh, let me know / Do I suffocate or let go?” is legitimately one of the most heartbreaking lines the band has ever written. 

There’s also incredibly emotional ballads like “26,” which Williams wrote at the same age. It is one of the more hopeful tracks on the album, with the band telling fans that holding onto hope is better than not having any, much needed during a time where the political climate of the United States felt dystopian and hopeless with a new administration. It also signaled a more direct dialogue between the band and its fans, with Paramore urging fans to fight for a better future.

After Laughter also heavily discusses platonic and romantic heartbreak, particularly on songs like “Pool” and “Forgiveness.” The first of the two used the symbol of a pool to describe how hard it is to move on from a codependent relationship, evident in lines like, “Dive back into / Right back into / Dive right back into you” and “If I survive / I’ll dive back in.” Meanwhile, the latter track was the first song the band wrote for the album, with Williams singing about how she could forgive her former friends and partners but couldn’t forget their wrongdoings. The overall sounds of both songs are melancholy and gloomy, and the band’s perspective on relationship struggles proved to be poetic and relatable for those who have experienced the same.

Arguably, the most hard-hitting song on the album was “Fake Happy,” a song that talked about Williams dissociation and detachment from others. Equating happiness to performance, the band truly called out the way every human has masked their true feelings or selves at some point, heard the loudest when Williams sings, “Oh, please, don’t ask me how I’ve been / Don’t make me play pretend, oh, no / Oh, what’s the use? / Oh, please, I bet everybody here is fake happy too.”

Even though there are really sad and dark moments sonically and lyrically on the album, After Laughter also had some ridiculously fun and upbeat songs that now are staples of Paramore’s sound. For example, “Hard Times” has become a cult classic in their fanbase, while other songs like “Rose-Colored Boy” and “Caught in the Middle” added new elements of cynicism and dryness into the band’s lyrics, sarcastically poking fun at U.S. politics, the media and self-sabotagers. These songs also were accompanied with standout live performances throughout 2017 and 2018, such as on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert and at Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival.

I think that’s why I will always love this album. No matter how many times I listen to it or where I am in my life, I return to this album when I feel lonely, frustrated, angry, lost or even hopeful, and I believe Paramore created it for that purpose. After Laughter was a risk the band took sonically and creatively, but it proved how versatile their skill set was, as well as their unwillingness to keep creating albums focused on winning critical acclaim. Overall, I love After Laughter by Paramore because it will always remain relevant, timely and convey deeper meanings about how we discuss mental health and its effects on our personalities, behaviors and relationships. 

Listen here: https://open.spotify.com/album/1c9Sx7XdXuMptGyfCB6hHs?si=IcU9z9JHSbiY2YC05FsbYQ